Priority

"There is no one perfect way to be a good mother... Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children... Some may have to work part-or full-time; some may work at home; some may divide their lives into periods of home and family and work. What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else." Elder M. Russell Ballard

When I was a single mother, it absolutely killed me to leave my kids to go to work.  Each morning would almost be a battle of the kids begging for me to stay home, begging for me to get to play with them, begging for me to make the situation be what it used to be. It was an emotional struggle on the kids and on me.  Though I couldn't change the situation, and I had to now be the sol provider for my kids, I also decided that some things would have to give and it wasn't going to be what little time I did get with my kids.

I made the decision that I when I picked my kids up after work, that it was OUR time. I ignored my dishes and the laundry and every household chore on my every day list. I brought my kids home and I played with them! The times that they were gone on a weekday or weekend, for visitation, was my time. It was the time that I caught up on the house and went on dates, or did whatever I needed for myself (take long uninterrupted bubble bathes) to unwind.

I really don't know how I got through this part of my life, other than getting my priorities in order. Yes, my house would stink sometimes because of a sink full of dishes. But they weren't the most important thing and by the end of the week, they were still there waiting for me. My kids however, didn't stay that young age. I also know that as I read my scriptures every night before I went to bed, and poured out my heart to my Heavenly Father through prayer, I was given the extra strength and boost that I needed to get through another day.

My circumstances are different now. I have been blessed with a wonderful, loving and supportive husband! I am back at home with my kids, and I now find it difficult to sometimes enjoy what's mine and the time I get to be with them. There are times when I feel like I am not accomplishing anything because I try to accomplish too much. My priorities are not where they used to be. I need to get myself back on track and not put folding my laundry before playing trains on the floor with my boy, or painting my girls fingernails, or reading a book to my toddler. I have taken what I have for granted and it's time to refocus. I love being a mom, even on the hard days. And I love how patient my kids are with me. I don't want them to go a day in their life where they wondered if I ever really cared about them because I didn't spend time with them. I want them to grow up knowing that I love them and love to be with them! With that said, I should get off the computer and go give them some 'Mom time'!